i've been working on the "eleven things" project since the beginning of the year.
i am uninspired so figured i'd post the half-complete thing in a journal.

<sub>1.
little sister (ma petite soeur) –
here are three things i should probably tell you:
first: love the man before his music
second: don’t shave your legs every day, even if he’s worth it
third: never trust your imaginary friends, they know too many of your secrets

2.
sometimes
i can only think of songs to describe you
usually
none of them fit just right

3.
you are polluted and sick and stand just over the mountains from the place where somebody can see a million miles but can’t get that far.
your namesake means womb of the queen of angels and i love you, northsoutheastandwest.

4.
i love the sprawling city that spawned you
and
i listen to you when there’s nothing else to do
and
i always whisper your words to myself
and
yet you don’t know anything about me

5.
your mother made you out of the black asphalt of an abandoned parking lot
wrapped you in bones and flesh and wire…
forget remembering what she said about spice and snails, you’re made of smoke and rain.

6.
i’m not so sure i know you as well as i should but
you love the angles and angels of this city so
i suppose i know you better than i thought i did.

7.
you should have told someone before you left.
even if it wasn’t me.
your brain and your self killed each other.

8.
a needle on vinyl, rhythm and pulse
s
o
u
n
d
w
a
v
e
s
she needs a beat to keep herself going</sub>

8... and a half (sorta) things. never gonna finish it.

in other news... i take my driver's license test tomorrow. not sure if i'll pass, california freeways are hard. wish me luck,
i'm gonna need it.
the box for my father's ashes was brought to us today. i've never been to a funeral before. for any who are wondering, he did take his own life. i will not elaborate except to tell all of you that suicide is a horrendous thing to do to a family. i am continually amazed at the number of people who have been touched, in one way or another, by suicide. i fervently hope that no one else must go through what my family and i have been through.

sorry to leave any who read this in a dismal mood.